So I'm feeling a bit sentimental today I guess you could say. I went from being completely pissed at my boss for watchin dvds instead of doing her job to being somewhat pleasent and reminding myself that she's going to get fired!! heck yeah! i know that sounds so mean but the stress this one lady has added to my life in the past few months is ridiculous. Her and two other employees are supposed to be "let go" soon, according to my boss's boss. I'm incredibally excited.
Back the sentimental part though.... I'm applying for this scholarship to MTSU but I have to write a paper talking about the obstacles I've had to overcome during school and what has helped me to do so. It's really hard to write about everything that's happened. So much has taken place in my life that it just seems overwhelming to sit down and try to write about all of it. I don't know what's important to other people and what's going to stick out. None of its lieng.... its all true but everytime I sit down to try and write about it I start to get really down and sometimes start to cry. I need this scholarship but I don't know if I have it in me to write this paper. It's puttin me, who i am, what I believe in, everything I've been through down, on paper for everyone to read. that's hard.... harder than I think ever doing/going through any of those things....
I'm at a loss of what's going on with Chris. I love this guy more than I've ever loved anyone and given my heart full fledged to this guy. He used to treat me with the respect of a queen and now I'm completely confused as to whether or not we're even friends. And he's jealous that me and his brothers talk and hang out but I've told him so many times that he's the guy I want. Me hanging out with Phil and Tim is nothing. I don't think of them that way.... So I've been telling Phil all week that I've been busy... it's all been a lie. I've had time to hang out and do stuff I just haven't because I don't want any drama from Chris. My thing is he says that they told him that I call them all the time. I believe his brother when they tell me that they haven't said anything remotely like that. So he's just blowing steem up our butts. So Phil's kind of mad that we can't hang out because I don't want to cause trouble.... he's more mad though that Chris wouldn't trust him, his own brother. But does Chris say anyting directly to either of us? No. Just says stuff to people he knows will say something to us. it's all b/s
My uncle has moved in with me and my mom now. He just got out of jail and he's trying to get his head on straight. My uncle used to be the type of guy that scared me... he did for the longest time and when he first got out I was still scared. I hadn't taken the chance to sit down with him and see how things were different. But now, I've sat down with him and hung out with him and for the first time in my life, I'm actually comfortable hanging out with him. I love my uncle. I never thought i'd say that i was comfortable but i truely am.
So my friend Christy's dad and dad's girlfriend don't like me because the dog barked at me and I gave off "bad energy". I'm like super nice and polite, especially when it comes to parents but they pretty much hate me with a passion which sucks because I think she's a totally awesome person who i'd like to spend more time with outside of school but if they don't like me or my church (the location of it) then i really have no chance of haning out/developing a better friendship outside of school. it's sad.
Things don't seem to be going better with my brother but who knows *shrug* Things are going so hot with school.... I'm averaging B's this six weeks. So not cool. But it's my own fault. I need to step it up a notch. I think I'll do that tonight. | 
